Edward's Online Reality
Week 01: Food and Head of Household
Edward's Playlist

It's our lovely Big Brother house.  How great is this shit?  Julie Chen is at the beginning.  What else is new?  13 different people all from different states.  They have nothing in common?  Please, bitch.  Karen gets her key.  Jase is second.  Jennifer is third.  Crazy bitch.  It's Marvin, fourth.  Diane is fifth.  Drew is sixth.  Mike is seventh.  Holly is eighth.  Michael is ninth.  Adria is tenth.  Scott is eleventh.  Lori is tweleth.  Will is thirteenth.  They all hate some kind of people.  They're all packing and all that good shit.  Project DNA, (Do Not Assume).  Two blood related people that don't know it.  They can't speak until inside.  They choose a bed.  First four are Adria, Lori, Michael and Jase.  Jase likes the girls.  Jennifer, Holly, Scott, Marvin and Drew are the next set.  Holly likes Scott and Drew.  Marvin takes a cot.  Diane, Karen, Will and Mike are last.  Diane thinks it's a prison room.  They decide to drink some champaigne to start.  They do a name and state shit.  Will has already basically called Holly and idiot.  Karen calls Marvina  control freak.  Marvin likes Lori, he wants to hit that.  Scott is a jock, alphamale.  Will hates him.  Mike's babies moms are babysitting.  Diane and Drew have twins.  They're rare as hell.  Diane finds Jennifer's nickname weird.  Jase thinks it'll be hard for her to bond.  Jennifer likes Michael the cowboy.  Mike thinks they'll all change.  We're getting a food competion next.
Julie talks on the screen.  They go outside and it's time to win or lose food.  Holly is an idiot.  A science project gone bad.  They need to get yellow balls.  They need to make there way across the spiral thing.  They have 75 seconds.  They fall, they get shit.  Michael is first.  Marvin calls him a monkey dude.  Jase is second.  He has so many balls.  Drew's turn now.  Will sis going.  The guys want the beer.  So far they've all made it.  Jennifer's go.  Jennifer got a lot.  Karen is going.  Lori's first spin threw her off.  Holly got tuna.  She ran out of time.  Scott is going now.  Adria is up next.  She makes it.  Diane is going.  Mike's turn now.  Marvin is up last.  He's picking up ground balls.  He only got two balls.  Marvin got mixed nuts.  Lori's lobster tail ball has a key.  There's 10,000 in there.  Take the fucking money, bitch.
Lori takes the $10,000 because they agred about Peanut Butter & Jelly.  Jennifer hates it.  Marvin says she'll lose.  They're all bitching.  Marvin is a fucking jagoff.  Now he's hating on Whitney.  Drew says Lori is stupid.  She screwed everybody over.  She thinks they won't hold it against her.  Will says everybody's looking for a scapegoat.  Will likes Lori because he's gay and wants to hide it and pull it out whenever.  He wants to see everybody's faces.  Lori wants to be close with him.  Marvin's cot just like broke or some shit.  I was rolling.  Jennifer, Marvin and Mike are olling.  Mike, Scott, Drew and Michael are chatting.  Diane is like a five way convo.  It's our same old Three stooges plus Dana and Jun.  Jase is willing to turn if somebody slips up.  Will sees a power struggle.  He wants to alphamales gone.  Karen and Lori and Will are a trio, so far.  They have similar feelings.  Oh yeah, it's game time.
More Project DNA stuff.  Michael and Jennifer are half brother and sister.  Michael has never met his dad.  Jennifer shows a picture with her dad.  Michael's mom was a single woman.  Jennifer gets more from her pops than her mom.  Michael wants to meet him.  He says his step-father is more of an influence.  Her dad lost half of his foot.  They only both know about him in Vietnam.  She wants an older brother.  Michael wants a younger sister.  DING!  We have a big match.  Nobody knows this shit yet.  How great.
Holly talks about her name and shit.  Jennifer's last name was Deadmon.  Michael is figuring it out.  DING!  He's basically got it.  Well, that was quick.  He's looking at Jennifer more.  Jennifer says there isn't a brother or sister.  She wants an older brother.  He's keeping it in.  This could turn his life around.  Holy shit, here we go for the Head of Household.
It's HoH time.  They get special priveledges.  The bedroom and nominations.  Will is partnerless.  Duo t-shirts.  Six treadmills with one talker.  The treadmills slow down or speed up based on the answers.  Walker who lasts the longest could be HoH.  Based on a questionaire they must answer.  4 teams got it wrong.  These trivia questions are crazy.  Nobody has fell yet.  Adria is at the maximum.  Adria and Marvin are out first.  A Hilary Duff fan.  Rolls.  Michael is at nothing.  Mike fell.  Mike and Jennifer are done.  Holly is shocked.  Holly and Diane are done.  It's endurance now.  Every 5 minutes it will increase.  Michael and Drew are out. 
Karen and Lori vs. Jase and Scott.  Karen is good.  Scott is good.  He is up to 6.  Karen is kicking ass.  She's a runner.  Will wants Karen to win.  Karen drops out.  Jase and Scott are our final 3.  Will is in charge.  There is a question about him and that person must answer.  Jase gets the question.  Jase is our HoH.  He was my pick.  Holly thinks she might be nominated.  Lori is scared.  Marvin is worried about eviction, not nominated.  Another twist is next.  Michael has put some pieces together.  Two twins will play and swap.  July 15th, we get to find out.