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Week 01: Luxury and Nominations

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The people enter the house and the shocking twists. How fucking great. The food competion. Lori kept the money. People were pissed. Michael talks to Jennifer and didn't tell nobody. Jase is our first Head of Household. Let Big Brother 5 continue. Scott wanted it and everybody fears them. Jennifer doesn't care, she just wants to be safe. Karen prefers Jase over Scott. Mike thinks Jase and Scott are the strongest. The room is pimped out. How fucking crazy. He has family pics. He loves the picture of his dog more than anything. Michael looks so tempted to tell her. He tells Scott and Jase. Scott was shocked as hell when he found that out. He then tells Drew. Now they invite Marvin in to tell them. Michael wanted feed pick and the people are shocked. They invite Jennifer in. Michael tells Jennifer that they are related. Jennifer thought this wasn't true. They're all freaking out. Jase says thank god they weren't making out. Jennifer did doubt him and said it seemed a bit strange. Well, maybe they'll finally get it straightened out.

Marvin said they needed to have a group meeting to get this out. Michael tells the group this shit. Jennifer is shocked as is everybody. They both need to go to the diary room. They both got a letter. It's real and confirmed that they are brother and sister. They're both so happy about this. They read the letters. Michael is crying. Holly gives him a hug. She actually did something smart. He's really happy. Jennifer thinks he's a great guy. Holly does her bubbly confessional. Marvin believes that it's fake. He did it at the wrong time. Marvin still thinks this is a bunch of shit. But the beauty crew are a bunch of jagoffs. Fucking idiots.

Michael talks about him being sisters with the outcast. They thought it was crazy, says Jase. All the guys put on panties. Why the hell? Mike didn't do it. It's luxury competion time. This challenge is called Margarita Madness. This is there only shot to get the hot tub. Holly, Lori and Karen need to salt the glass. Mike and Marvin need to put the ice in. Drew and Scott need todump theminto the cup. Will, Diane and Jennifer need to mix it. Michael will add the lime. He needs to find the key and has to give the key to Jase. They get 10 minutes tot do this. Plus they get some margaritas. Food for just that night. Adria said Michael with the suit looked great. Karen almost took off some of Holly's fingers. Marvin was tossing the ice. Mike ripped the bags up. Drew and Scott were putting the taquilla in. Will's job was the hardest. Drew gave Will his props. Michael got the key and they won all that good shit. What a great margarita party. Marvin said those were the best casadias ever. Holly said Marvin was a big fucking hog. Marvin said the skinny aneroxic people ad the advantage. He's like hitting on Adria and Holly. What a fucking pervert he is. The guys talk about the noms. They want Scott, Drew, Michael and Jase to keep the HoH the whole time. Do these people know the show? It ain't happening.

Jase gets a note and can see the other people. He tells Drew and Scott. You can't hear anything but only see. They talk about the possibility of voting out Marvin. Mike feels threatened. He fucking sucks. So boring. Jase calls Mike a gamer. Diane is talking to Mike about Adria. Mike talks to Dre and Diane jumps in. Jase doesn't know who to put up. Time's ticking you fool. Just pick too, you moron.

Jase takes out the good old nomination box. He explains the rules and blah blah blah. Adria then realises that symbolizes game on. Lori and Karen chitchat about somebody is a target each week. Mike says he's kinda up in the air. Holly says she wouldn't want to be first HoH. He starts pulling off the keys. Off he goes with the box. He throws his on and starts putting them into the box. They all head inside anticipating. Now he's explaining this key shit. Blah blah blah. Somebody shut him up. Holly gets so excited and yelps. Will is safe now. Karen is safe. Drew is now safe. Marvin is safe. Scott is safe. Michael is safe. Lori is safe. Adria is safe. Diane is safe. Mike and Jennifer are nominated. Mike is trying to create alliances. They call him the godfather and call him a threat. Please, bitch. Jennifer is nominated because he doesn't know her too well. Well, that was fun. Michael wants to protect her. She says she'll start talking and then there is a veto. Mike says it's not him vs. Jennifer. It's him vs. Scott and Jase. That's true.