We start with the people coming in by boat.  All 18 are back.  Alliances and all that good shit that's happened in the past.  Tina going home first, thankfully.  Rudy went home next.  Proving winners aren't first.  Then Jenna leaving to go see her mother.  The fucking endless rain.  Then the betrayal of Rob C.  Then three became two.  Then we said bye to Richard Hatch.  Rupert, Jenna, Amber and Rob finale 4.  Susan getting pissed and leaving.  Then Colby and Ethan leaving, thankfully.  Rob and Amber rubbing on each others asses.  Stroking each others egos.  Then the tribal shuffle.  Switching tribes and shit.  Amber is now all alone, poor baby.  Amber pleading for her safety.  Jerri goes bye bye, bitch.  It's an official merge.  Chaboga Mogo time.  Rob told him he'd help Lex and bye bye he went.  Jury member number two then Kathy, Alicia and Shii Ann.  The final 5 for the car.  Rob winning and Amber getting her own ride.  What a corny date.  Rupert and Tom making a deal to boot Rob and Amber.  Then they'd had the Rob fight.  He worried about Amber going.  All three [Tom, Rob and Amber] decide to boot Jenna.  Then Tom got sent packing.  We're down to Rupert, Amber, Jenna and Rob.  It's on now.

It was a hurtful tribal council.  Jenna wonders how she got that far.  I wanna know too.  She's thinking about voting off Rupert with Rob and Amber.  What a dumb bitch.  Jeff has a big ass basket.  Food for four.  It's a big breakfast.  They get more food then anybody.  They get to make a scrapbook.  Oh goodie.  Oh not the purple rock.  Now she's depending on fate and not a fucking rock.  Jenna is dying over the pancakes.  Rupert does not want to go home.  It's a huge ass maze.  They need 8 ladder steps to win.  This hurts my brain.  Amber gets her first step.  Rob gets his first step.  Then Rupert gets his first.  Jenna then gets her first.  Rob has his in, then Amber then Rupert.  Jenna gets her first in.  Rupert gets one.  Then Rob and Amber get one.  They all get their second into the main.  Rob gets his third.  Jenna gets her third.  Rupert is a bit behind.  Now they're all tied at three.  Rob now has four.  Jenna has four.  Amber has 4.  Rupert has four.  Rob has five.  Jenna has 5.  Amber now has five.  Rupert has five.  Amber has 6.  Rupert has six.  Jenna has six.  Rob has six.  Amber has seven while Rupert has seven.  Amber and Rupert now have thier eighth.  Rob has his seventh.  Amber is building the ladder.  Amber wins immunity.  She looks fucking orange.  She's one of the tang people.

They go back to work on the scrapbook.  Jenna says she can't vote Rupert.  Rupert says his fate relies on a 26 year old single mother.  She doesn't want Rob to tell her what to do.  Now she wants it to go down to the rock.  Jenna says it's still up in the air.  He believes that Jenna might do it.  Rupert is smart, he wants to make Jenna feel bad for him.  She holds the power of cheese.  It's tribal time.  Let's bring in the deadmates.  Jenna saw the jury reaction and is now worried.  Jenna talking shit, Alicia is worried.  Lex is like, Rob, stop talking shit.  Amber says, you could be pissed, but she ended up voting for the person who screwed her.  Today is a tough day.  Rupert says it's 2 on 2.  He's either out or fate.  It's time to vote.  Rupert votes Rob.  Rob votes Rupert.  She's [Jenna] standing there and thinking.  The votes are Rob, Rupert, Rupert and Rupert.  Rupert says to Jenna it's part of the game.  Now let's move on.  It is now down to Rob, Amber and Jenna.

Jenna decided the rock thing was not good for her.  She just couldn't lose the money over that.  Jeff comes to visit.  It's the body painting time.  The torches of each of the final players.  They each grab a paddle and move out on the canoe.  The canoe is so ugly.  They start getting fancy and shit for the final immunity challenge.  They all paint each other.  Time to relive the past.  Tina going first and Rudy going second.  They then see Jenna's on the ground.  They all laugh when they see Rob C.'s.  Hatch says it's been getting harder.  Susan decided to get pissed and leave.  Colby talks about being patient.  Ethan talks about getting no votes in Africa.  What an ass.  Amber talks about being there because of Jerri.  Lex talks about mixing friendship with game.  Kathy talks about trust and shit.  Alicia bit her tongue.  Amazing, isn't it?  Shii Ann talks about beating her favorites.  Tom didn't feel like an all star, but was there.  They feel playing with Rupert was an honor.  He says he had fun.  Amber feels guilty for ending some of those players games.  They're all worried about not making the final two.

Final immunity challenge.  One hand on immunity idol.  Feet on the posts.  Their second hand can't touch the thing either.  Holy shit.  It's major game time.  This is great, they look like mimes.  30 minutes in and it looks like Jenna is in a zone.  One hour and they're all standing on it.  Jenna gets a cramp.  This could screw her.  Now we're two hours in.  Jenna is out.  Rob and Amber want to fight it out.  They don't want to give it up though.  Jenna is just sitting there pissed as hell.  3 hours and both are still on.  3 hours and 11 minutes and Amber touched it.  Rob wins that shit and goes to the final 2.  I would love to see that twist.

Rob is swimming in the middle of the ocean.  Jenna says she would have won if her foot was down.  He's giving his girlfriend a million.  Amber is 99% sure she's going.  What a great shock it would be.  Amber rode his coattails.  Now he thinks taking Jenna wouldn't be a bad idea.  He's now flipping between having a great shot with Jenna and losing to Amber.  He's basing his vote on him, what would he do for a million?  Long day for them.  It was a quick jump for Jenna.  Jenna is pissed she didn't fall off or something.  Amber says nobody got off because this show is all about trust and not trusting.  Everybody on the jury is laughing.  Rob thinks it could go either way.  Amber knows Rob is a thinker.  Jenna says he has a better chance against her then Jenna.  Rob is making the final decision.  It's time for the sixteenth member to go.  Let's hope it says Amber.  Jenna is now gone.  It is Amber vs. Rob.  Jenna says she had more fun.  Well, duh,. you're final 3.

Amber talks about the relationship with Rob.  She's happy and shit.  Rob is glad they're the only two there.  Neither of these fuckers should be there.  Lying cunts.  Fifteen minutes ain and they were in an alliance.  These two just piss me off.  They're gonna hate it now.  What a pair of dumbasses.  I just can't take dumb and dumber any more.  They don't vote anymore.  It's all up to the jury now.  Taking more god damn pictures.  It's your island, don't need to be fucking bragging.  Rob talks about how he couldn't do the fishing before Rupert.  Amber doesn't want the why vote me over Rob question.  Isn't that the most obvious.  They say it's all worth it.  The rain symbolizes horrible ending.  The jury wants to see you both lose.  You both suck.  Rob says he's glad and blah blah blah.  Shut the fuck up.  Time for the jury.  Lex, Kathy, Alicia, Shii Ann, Tom, Rupert and Jenna.  They now decide the fate of these two.  Rob starts with the bullshit and ass kissing.  He put the game in front of personal relationships.  He says worry about the player, not what they did to you.  Amber says it was gonna be harder since she knew some of them.  She came around to there because of luck and Rob.  She just blew somebody's vote. 

Lex is first.  They've all said it's just a game.  He said it just washed away guilt.  He says the line between life and game is huge.  The way you play is how you are.  Lex called him out.  Rob stabbed him out right away.  He says it ruined friendships and all that jazz.  Kathy's turn.  Kathy calls Rob out.  He says after the show he was worried how he'd be percieved.  What an asshole he is.  He's still blown away by what Lex said.  Rob says it was him getting caught up in the game, and not worried about whatever happened.  He said he didn't come there to mess up friendships.  Kathy asks if she was playing him.  She says at first it was strategy.  Then it turned into feelings.  She says it's a ginuwine relationship.  Kathy said she was crushed.  She said friendship can't be done with that because of this game.  She says there was no respect.  Now it's Ruperts turn.  Rupert says he's glad they stuck with him.  Amber says she'd play the game day by day.  She said she'd faught like hell in the tribal switch.  He says Rupert is a man of his word and he laughs.  Alicia's turn.  This should be good.  They relied on ass kissing and egostroking.  She says they have so much brown shit on their vote.  One word answer.  Rob says competitively.  Amber says luck.  Shii Ann gets her go.  She says everything is game in Survivor.  Three reasons why the other person deserves it over them.  Rob says Amber's loyalty, she didn't quit and her support towards the alliance.  Amber says Rob rocked the challenges, she says in Survivor, you need one person to depend on and 10 minutes into the game he was always with her.  Jenna's turn.  She doesn't have bad feelings towards any of them.  Rob wants to help kids on his college hockey team.  Amber wants to help friends with MD.  Now it's Tom's turn.Time for donkey shit.  Tom is talking in circles.  He says he's never seen a man run a woman like that.  Amber says it's time to be honest.  He knew that him and Rob were closer.  And he broke it.  Rob says he plotted to kick him off because he plotted against him.  Tom is pissed as hell.  He played Rob.

Time for final convincing.  Amber expected it to be difficult.  She said she learned a lot.  Then she learned something about herself, based on what the jury said.  Amber says her answers were honest and that was it.  Rob starts by appologizing to everybody.  He says he doesn't feel much better then they do over there.  He thinks it got a lot more personal then he wanted it to be.  He didn't expect it to be that heated.  He can't find the words.  A little tear comes down.  He says he's been screwing it up for a long time.  Isn't that obvious?  Now the final vote.  The jury votes on the winner.  Lex votes first.  Jenna says be proud of how you played.  Then she votes for Rob.  Alicia remembers the no voting thing.  She doesn't write his name down again.  Rupert votes.  Then Shii Ann.  Tom then votes Amber.  Kathy calls herself a sucker and votes for Rob.  Time for Jeff to leave the island and go to the U. S. on his chopper.  Now we're in New York City waiting for the votes.  Here is Jeff with the votes.  Let's read the votes please.  Amber's shirt says I Love Rob.  Rob is shaved.  She thinks it's gonna be a one vote game.  Rob dominated the game.  Rob proposes to Amber.    She for some reason accepts.  The families start hugging and shit.  He told the parents.  That's not the big twist.  Rob, Amber, Amber, Rob, Rob, Amber and Amber.  Amber is our winner.  Why is Lex's hair blue?  Can somebody explain that?

Rob said she helped with all the decisions.  They both decided together.  BEfore the game, she couldn't stand him.  She said take the guy nobody would expect.  Nice ring.  That's the first right thing.  Rob took all the bullets.  Rob wanted to be seen as the decision maker.  Rupert is now screaming like a mad man.  There was lots of talk between Rupert and Tom.  Rob said no doubt in his mind that it should have been against Amber.  Shii would have voted for Rob.  Lex says it's diferent.  Richard says it's a game and says it's the same thing.  You play to win.

The cards a re relationships in this game.  She thought Rob wanted the favor.  Richard says it's a favor to keep Amber.  Tom is so lost.  He's drunk at the finale.  Tom is saying don't yes or no me.  He says day one, it would be he sticked with it.  Jerri opens her mouth.  Jerri is so sick of it.  Jerri says it caused them pain and suffering for entertainment.  Colby wanted to play with intergrity.  He said playing well is different.  Rudy says he's glad he was gone early.  He didn't want to deal with that garbage.  Rudy must have been hanging out with Tom too much.  Shii had the best comment.  Tom draws the line at him talking about his son.  Tom feels it mean spirited.  He was called by Tom, a pony.  It was pony and dumbass. 

Jerri left.  Rich says Jerri left since she was upset.  She didn't know he'd do it live.  The parents love the kids.  They both thought they'd be playing each other.  Amber was gonna be a flirt to get to the end.  She liked the shelter building thing.  That's when she realized there were real feelings.  Rob likes her body.  He wants to hit that.  Rob thought she was sort of a snob at the beginning.  What does she see in this man?  She says he makes her feel secure.  She says it's wonderful.

Tom is dancing around like a jackass.  That's like the Butch ass dance.  Jenna M. looks very tangy.  She's upset and says her mother is still in her heart.  Jenna M. is with Ethan.  Susan looks beautiful.  She had everything done to her.  Tomorrow is her 17th annerversary.  Rupert and his wife look so great together.  Jenna L.  got married.  Tina is shocked.  Richard even found love.  At a hotel in Argentina.  Amber gets to give a car to one of the other 16 people.  Amber gives the car to Shii Ann.  She was the swing vote in the end.  The twist is next.  This is like fucking American Idol.  A crazy night.  The people give another million to somebody.  After the show, they all get to plea their case.  Voting closes Wednesday.